Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Canna, Canna, Canna: The Same Old Story

I'm guest blogging at www.PlotMonkeys.com today,
and I hope you'll pop in over there to say hi. Then come back here to answer the Bella question of the day, brought to you by Dolce & Gabbana! Please.

I confess, it's a bit of a recycled blog, but I like the subject so much, I decided to talk about it with Carly Phillips and the Monkeys just like we discuss it over here.

So, once you've kindly been there and back, answer me this:

Do you tell the same stories over and over?
What are the famous stories you and your family love to repeat?
Encore! Mille grazie, Dolce & Gabbana for answering the question: what do Italian footballers wear while lounging in the shower? Si, Amyskf, they are very happy to see us.
Encore due! Canna's second from left, the one with the sexy hip thing goin on.

Thank you, Lori Foster, for visiting yesterday! We loved talking what makes romance sexy. You're welcome back any time.

And thank you, Bellas of www.RunningWithQuills.com! We are honored you joined us. Just give us lead time when you visit again so we can clean up the joint.


Stacy~ said...

Oh yeah, I am a broken record. Not much of a life I guess - yesterday was proof of that LOL.

Like I tell people how I was once in the audience of "Love Connection" (I was 16) and got to vote - that was fun. Chuck Woolery was very funny. And about how I left home for good at 19, never really looking back. How I worked for an airline and am a bit afraid to fly.

Well kids, I'm at work today, so I'll be giving you a break *g* Have a great day :)

Playground Monitor said...

The one I tell repeatedly involves my younger son. He's 23 now but when he was about 3 he was being a real pain one day, asking over and over if he could have candy. I kept telling him no and finally, in desperation, I sat him on the counter so we could be eye-to-eye and I took his little face between my hands and said "Son, read my lips. You cannot have any candy."

Then he put his little baby hands on my cheeks, looked at me eye-to-eye and said "Mama, listen to my face. I want some candy."

I absolutely lost it. And he got a piece of candy. And to this day when we want to get a point across we'll say "Listen to my face!"

My other fave involves the older son. When he began middle school track he had to have a sports physical, which the school provided for $5 by using med students from the university under the supervision of a doctor. I took him to the designated place after school one afternoon and when we were in the car headed home I asked about the physical. I was curious just how much they checked for $5. "Oh, they checked my heart and listened to my lungs and looked at my ears and eyes and throat," he said. "And they checked me for herpes."

Well, I nearly stood that car on its nose slamming on the brakes. "Herpes?????" I asked. "Yeah, you know, where they grab you down there and tell you to cough." "You mean a hernia," I explained. "Yeah, well, I knew it was one of those 'h' words."

#1 son has a baby daughter of his own now and I can't wait to see what hilarious words come from her mouth when she's older.


Rach said...


Question??? There was a question?????

Kati said...

Really Rach! How can we be expected to answer anything when she puts...that...up on her page?!

How IS everybody? I've been so out of the loop. The nerve of my company making me work! It's unconscionable!

So, my friend Heather and her baby visited this weekend. I think I told you guys about her. She lost her husband (38 and a firefighter for FDNY) in early June to a massive heartattack. She just looked over to the couch where he was sitting, and he was dead. She's 33 and the baby was 11 months old at the time. So, my best friend and I nagged and cajoled until we got her to agree to come down from Philly (where she's been staying with her folks) for the weekend.

You guys, seriously, I want to be her when I grow up. She's handled this thing with more grace, and dignity and honor that I ever expected. Her hubby very much spoiled her and treated her like a princess, but she has risen to the occassion in a way that I know would make him so incredibly proud of her! The baby is just a delight. Literally, the only time I heard him cry was when he bonked his head. It's like he knows how much his mama can handle and is perfect because he just knows he's got to be. She tells us that there are days when she can barely get out of bed, but I swear, she just looks amazing and while she talks about her hubby and her feelings about what's happening alot, it's not her only topic (in fact, we spent alot of time this weekend speculating on what could have gone wrong with Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson). It was such a good weekend. I was so relieved to see her doing well and we've already begged to have her come back again this fall.

Playground Monitor said...

Oh bless your dear friend and her baby. I wish only the very best for them. My mom was left a widow at age 43. My dad died the same way -- massive heart attack and I'm the one who found him dead in his favorite chair. I was 18 at the time and home on Christmas break from my first year at college. My mom is my hero because she just stepped right up and did what she had to do and finished raising me and my sister. She's a very young 79 now and I practically have to make an appointment to find her at home. I love that she's still so active and has so many interests. Just last month she and a friend went on a 10-day trip to Ireland.

Valeen said...

Holy Wicked Hell. Oh my. I think that's a photo I'll be borrowing straight to my puters desktop.

I definitely tell the same stories over and over. They are the funny ones! LOL

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Wow, MK. I feel like I know your friend, already. How strong is she? I would have folded already. And I know lots of women at my age think about what it would be like to move forward if something happened to our husbands.

She's lucky to have you, and I'm sure she appreciated having the special time with friends just to hang, but also to share what she's going through. The talking is so important.

But, thank God she's able to put things into perspective (which is so important to healing) and realize that there are things more important that her woes, like what's going on with Kate Hudson's relationship.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

oh, Marilyn, how horrible for you. I was 18 when my dad died, but I was spared the tragedy you experienced. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's inspiring to hear your mom picked right up. It's kinda what I was talking about, you know?

amy kennedy said...

Oh MaryKate, I'm so glad you got your friend to visit, I don't think anyone can imagine the loss.

And Marilyn, I am so sorry.

amy kennedy said...

But Marilyn, I'm gonna have to use the line, "listen to my face"

We have so many family stories--they are a comfort and a source of joy.

Si, si Michelle, they are very happy to see us.

ev said...

Well, now THERE is a welcome to the blog picture to remember!! Not that I need anything to help trigger a hot flash, but that makes it much more pleasant than the usual ones!!

My poor hubby- now it will take me even longer to get going in the morning, and I will need more coffee. First PlotMonkeys and now here. However, if he understood trying to decide between housework and yummy pictures, he wouldn't even question it. But I'm not telling him.

Marilyn- I admire your friend and how well she is handling this tragedy.

Rach said...

Okay, now that I'm coherent again--I think--I can talk ;o).

First of MK, welcome back and my goodness, what a tale! I have nightmares about the same thing, I think because I lost my dad so young--Marilyn, I'm so sorry you had to be the one to find your father. MK, you are an amazing friend in return.

I tell the same stories over and over and over again. The funny ones especially. I'm also the butt of some stories that are repeated at family functions every year. :oP

Just give me a moment or two and I'll come up with my best ones. =)

Kati said...

Marilyn - I can only imagine how horrible that must have been for you, I'm so sorry!

Yes, Heather is a goddess. She's really doing so well, and I can only imagine how hard this has been for her.

Michelle, we also spent quite a bit of time talking about who would be worst dressed at the Emmys, about football, and we got her hooked on Grey's Anatomy (the Superbowl episodes ran this week, so it was a good time!). Anyway, she's doing really well, and I hope it stays that way. She's joined a young widows group and is seeing a grief counselor. He left her in good shape financially. I guess firefighters have to carry a lot of life insurance.

It's kind of amazing though, he was in the WTC clean up (not actually among the first responders, but he did do rescue and recovery), and he was an actual decorated hero. You know? I adored him. He was a big, burly italian guy who loved Frank Sinatra and his family. Every single time they would come to visit me, I would say the same thing to him, "Did you bring me a firefighter?!" LOL!

Rach said...

Wow, MK! I'm still shaken on so many levels--your friend's strength and courage, your dedication to your friend, the heart attack at so young an age. It makes me want to call the hubby just to tell him I love him. It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?

You know, I *really* should be cleaning the house since I'm back at work Thursday--*sniff* *sniff* no Bellas while at work *sniff* *sniff*--but there will be no Bellas at work so I need to play while I can. Right? I guess I should wean myself, although I'm thinking cold turkey may be in the works...

Julie in Ohio said...

MK & Marilyn, thank you very much for blowing all my stories out the window...(just joking) :P

Marilyn, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing any of my parents, but what you went through is beyond any comprehension.
OMG, I love the herpes story. That has blackmail written all over it. :o)

MK, give Heather a big hug from me. I have nightmares about something like that happening to me but to have it come true is horrific. She is lucky to have a friend like you for support and even a diversion when needed.

Kati said...

We have a lot of embarassing storied in my family. The best one, is of course, actually on me. I was a varsity athlete in high school, so was a year behind all of my friends in getting my driver's license. So, I'm driving along one day with my best friend from high school and we come upon a STOP sign. She says to me, "You know, the ones with white rims are optional." I took her at her word and ran stop signs for literally months. One day, I was in the car with her again and we come up to a STOP sign at a very busy intersection. I turn to her and say, "I'm not really sure why this STOP sign has a white rim. Clearly, you have to stop here!" LOL! Needless to say, my senior superlative was "Most Gullible."

Oh yeah, my family loves to tell that story.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Yes. I'm feelin the love from youz a little more over today's Canna obsession photo.

Ev, welcome. You're one of us now, so get ready for your house to be in disarray, your kids to be standing at your desk begging for food, and your husband to be very, very happy because you'll be talking a LOT about romance and sexy romance at that.

And you know what they say -- well what we say -- about the guys whose chicks read romance. More. And. Better. :)

I'm so digging today's exchange and wish I wasn't trying to get a jump on tomorrow's deadline.

My husband's family has a ton of stories they like to tell, and always start with, "you know, I'm not one to repeat myself, but..."

Julie in Ohio said...

Michelle, you are a GODDESS! I'm so glad they are happy to see us because they have *no* idea how happy we are to see them. :o)

My fav story comes from my wedding. It has been told so often that I've forgotten who I've told and how I haven't. So I'm gonna tell ya again... :P

My dh put our wedding vows to the test immediately following the ceremony. We went from our wedding dinner straight to the urgent care center in all of our finery. The faces on the doctors and nurses faces were a kodak moment. My dh wasn't feeling well. Turns out he had strep throat and was running a 104 degree temperature. Needless to say we didn't sleep a wink on our wedding night, but not for the enjoyable reasons. But we have a story to tell over and over that just doesn't get old...at least to us. :o)

ev said...

Marykate, Your friend Heahter (it's my daughter's name too,so I shouldn't have screwed that up in my first post!!) has my deepest sympathy. Life is hard enough, and to be a single parent in such a way just bites. However, from what you said, she sounds like a very strong woman whose son will have a great example to grow up around.

ev said...

Michelle- thanks for the welcome. I won't have to worry about the house being in disarray, since it always is anyway. There is always something more important to do than clean, unless the holidays are coming up!! My daughter is now 21 and can feed herself, dammit!! LOL The dogs and cats on the other hand have not learned to use the can opener or open the doors, so I have to go do that occassionally.

One of my biggest fears is losing my hubby in the middle of the nite. If he breathes funny, I wake up. he is much older than I am, and had a heartattack 2 years ago and surgery. Now I spend my time worrying about his health. ::sigh:: It never ends, if the kids make it thru to adulthood, you start to worry about your spouse. It's no wonder housework isn't at the top of the list.

Rach said...

Hee hee hee, Julie! Too funny. Oh, and Marilyn, I meant to comment on your stories, but got stuck on MK's. Your sons are wonderful! Listen to my face indeed =).

Okay, here's one that has been repeated again and again to family and friends, but I haven't yet bored ya'll with. The story of my engagement.

I was home after my freshman year, working on the grounds crew for the local school system (yup, weedeating, giant mowing tractors, etc.) and up at 5 to do it. Friday night he wanted to take me to a "nice" dinner, and well, after being up at 5, mowing and weedeating all day, etc. I just wasn't feeling it. So I balked and said I just wanted fast food. He regrouped, got the fast food and took me to the duckpond (don't most towns have one?) to feed the ducks. We had just finished eating, he drops to his knee, hands me this beautiful red velvet box and says, "There's something in here that belongs to you if you'll have me." Oh, how sweet, how romantic. I open the box upside down (shaking like a leaf because, even though you've been together forever you still freak out in these situations) and promptly drop the gorgeous diamond ring on the ground and into duck poop.

My poor romantic boy. I thwarted him at every turn.

Playground Monitor said...

Duck poop??? How funny!

My hubby developed an abcessed tooth on our wedding night and we too were up all night for NOT the fun reasons. Add in a gospel group staying in the room next to ours -- a gospel group who felt obligated to practice at full volume in the middle of a pain-filled night. 'Twas NOT a fun honeymoon. Actually 'twas not a honeymoon at all. We called my mom who got the DH an appointment with her dentist and we returned home the next day to have his tooth pulled. Then we headed to Atlanta to begin our married life together. A couple weeks later on Memorial Day weekend, we headed to Savannah Beach and well... let's just say we made up for that lost wedding night. :blush:


Michelle Buonfiglio said...

OH, Marilyn, my maidenly sensibilities! We slept in the separate SINGLE beds in our room our wedding night. And we didn't care because we were so exhausted.

Ev, that's the thing. The breathing in the night. Same with my husband. Problem is, it never disturbs HIS sleep.

Rach, really. The poor guy. But I can SO picture it...

You guys have such great stories. I don't have any great ones I can think of. Gonna start my column and see if something shakes loose.

Ya know, some week I'm gonna tell youz a little abo ut the novel and let you come up with the opening hook. There will be a prize.

ev said...

Duck doo-doo?? I hope he cleaned it first. ew.

Thankfully we had a honeymoon. We spent the next 9 months travelling between Syracuse, where i still was and Troy, where he was. He also travelled then for work quite a bit. Sometimes I think we passed each other on the thruway. One Memorial Day weekend I came here to the house and he got sent to Oklahoma for 6 weeks- that was the same weekend the area here got hit with a tornado. Yes, we get them in NY too. I was putting up new closet shelves that he had started putting up. I finished the job. Over the years the parts he put up have fallen 4 or 5 times and mine are still going strong. Shows you who knows how to use tools in our house!!!

ev said...

Michelle- Not only does it not disturb HIS sleep, he has the audacity to say I snore!! hrmmph. How can I snore when i spend all my time listening to him not breathing or snoring himself. Men.

Kati said...

Rach - Hilarious story! And he married you anyway?! What a guy!

OK, here's another funny MK story...

When I was a junior in college, I'd been dating the same guy for about 4 years. We went out one summer night and well, let's just say MK had had too much to drink by the time it was 9:30. So Mark, the boyfriend, brought me home. As I get home I realize that my mom is still up (Dad was out of town) and that I'm going to have to act verrrrry sober when I go in because she's lying on the living room couch reading a book. So I walk in casual as can be, and lean up against the living room doorway and have a brief (yet, I'm sure alarmingly drunk) conversation with Mom. Mom comes to my rescue by saying to me, "You know, you look pretty tired, you should probably go on to bed." I reply (casually, of course), "You know, I AM pretty tired, I think I will." and proceed to stagger up the stairs. I get to the top of the stairs and into the bathroom where I turn on the light and glance in the mirror to find...my shirt is on inside out and backwards with the red tag sticking out right under my chin. Niiiiice. LOL! I sobered up immediately!

So, you know my Mom is thinking, "Not only is my daughter sh*t faced and it's 9:30 at night, but at some point this evening, she's been naked!" The classic part? She never mentioned it until Christmas dinner about three years ago. She just...never mentioned it. LOL!

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

I'm speechless, MK. I hope, oh, hope I never have to experience that with one of my children. I'm also thinking that's so incredibly funny, I'm grinning.

ev said...

MK- I want to know what happened when she mentioned it at Xmas dinner. And who was there. And how long it took you to come out from hiding.

Rach said...

MK, too funny! Of course, being a junior means you were essentially grown up, so really, what could Mom say? *grin*

And, I second what Michelle said about never having to encounter my girls like that!

Which reminds me. Jess had taken a Senior trip to Cancun with her class. She returned and had quite a few hickeys which were quite visible. Mom was understandably a little disgruntled by this and I was feeling all holier than thou because I had never had a hickey (visible anyway). So, the following morning I come into breakfast, Jess gives me the big eyes of surprise and I'm trying to figure out why. Suddenly Mom turns around and says, "Now BOTH of my daughters have hickeys??!??!" Oops. Who knew I bruised that easily??

In my defense, I was on break between my sophomore and junior years of college and therefore already engaged...yeah, that doesn't matter. Moral of the story, only have hickeys where they don't show (they're much more fun in those places anyway ;o) ).

katie said...

Love this blog, I will have to stop by more often!

ev said...

See, now it's all everybody's fault- I keep popping back in here, and am getting even less done than I normally do. I will have to tell hubby it's all your faults......OK, any excuse in a storm...

Rach said...

Yes, Ev, we feel ya =). And, when I actually have to work, where there is blocking of Blogger, well, I go through *intense* withdrawl! :oP

Julie in Ohio said...

ROTFLMAO, OMG! I am laughing so hard I can't catch my breath.

MK, that is so classic. I would *hate* to be your mom but would love to have seen her face. :o)
I have three girls and I am scared out of my mind...
I'm with Ev, what did your mom say? Research question for when I have to deal. :o)

Rach, you minx!!! I know exactly the look you gave Jess because I have an older sister who often gave it to me. From a younger sister's point of view, I am soooo glad you got busted. :P
I only wish my sister had...
I hope your mom didn't come down to hard on ya. After all, Jess started it...

ev said...

There are positives to being the only girl, of course my brother was 10 years younger than me, so my parents had a whole different mess to deal with. But then I was a perfect child (gag) growing up. And my daughter, on the other hand, has kept me hopping. but then I was never a real strict mom, and she grew up pretty much staying out of trouble. but the hickeys even get to me if I see them. ick. It's TMI time then!!!

I got the kitchen cleaned up at least!!

Kati said...

Well, I'm a youngest child, and have three older siblings. My closest brother was a bit of a wild child himself. My two older siblings didn't get into nearly as much trouble as he and I did.

When my Mom finally told the story a few years ago, I got "Mary Katherine!'d" by my Dad, but the rest of my sibs already knew. My two oldest nieces were there (they were 16 & 18 at the time) and they thought it was hilarious. I'd called my sister the night it happened (you can imagine that conversation: "Sara, holy sh*t you'll never guess what happened!"), so she knew too.

All in all, it was treated just as another "That Katie" moment.

Rach, my Mom, famous for one liners used to say to me when I came home sporting hickeys, "Mary Katherine, hickeys are SO trailer park!" I once got one two nights before a formal ball, to which I was supposed to wear a strapless dress. I called my sister and she came over with a bunch of different creams and emollients to put on it. Needless to say, the old urban legend that toothpaste will make a hickey receed is just that...an urban legend!

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

You know, I read these posts about hickeys and trips to Cancun, etc. and just wish I hadn't been so shy and guilt-ridden when I was younger. :) Is it weird I feel that way?

Julie in Ohio said...

Michelle, I was thinking the same thing. I had a boyfriend in high school, but I knew my parents would have killed me and then him. I wish sometimes that I would've been a little more "I don't give a &%@$ what anyone says".
But my time machine is broke and I can't go back...

To answer your question, no it is not weird.

I'm rambly today so if I get too off topic, just put me back on track. :o)

Rach said...

What I don't think I got across was that I actually *was* a goody two shoes, and in fact still am. In fact, Jess still berates me because I didn't "pave the way" enough for her.

I HATE getting in trouble, even to this day. So, even though I wasn't shy, I just chose to avoid trouble if I could. Maybe I should have lived a little more. Who knows.

Julie in Ohio said...

Ok, has it been mentioned yet today (at least a million times) that those are some fine examples of the finest Italian cuisine?

I'm glad Michelle pointed out Canna because I wouldn't have been able to spot him...

How many sit ups do you have to do to get abs like that? Inquiring minds want to know...

Kati said...

LOL! I, on the other hand, was an absolute maniac in high school, and by the time I'd gotten to college I'd calmed down quite a bit.

I'm now about the biggest fuddy-duddy on earth! I get excited when there's a new episode of Grey's Anatomy on!

Oh, I never liked getting in trouble either! My parents always thought that I got very little by them, but the truth is that I got away with WAAAAAY more than I should have! My nieces, OTOH, are much better behaved than I was! Both are more responsible than I ever was! I think that's a tribute to my sister and BIL. I remember giving my oldest niece a mini-lecture about smoking. She stopped me by saying, "Oh please! Do you think I'd ever ruin my body by smoking?! What am I, an idiot?!"

Geez, I had thought it was SOOO cool when I was in high school!

Kati said...

Jules - Who cares how many situps? I'll hold his legs and count for him! :oP

That's me a big GIVER, always GIVING, never TAKING.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

NO! Don't disappoint me, Rache! Here I was admiring you for being a taking life by the stilettos kinda girl, a chick w/out hang-ups. I meant no disrespect. I just wanted to live vicarously through you. Your life just sounds so much more exciting than mine was. And I didn't mean to imply I was a goody-2. I just felt terribly guilty about it all.

yikers. Inet communication failure alert!

Can I just try to make everyone happy for a moment by directing our gazes back to the D & G photo? sheesh.

But here's the thing. I can say "if I knew then" as much as I want. I just celebrate the fact that I'm not that girl anymore. It's the beauty of the 40s.

I was telling someone how I just kinda say what's on my mind now, feel like I don't have to apologize for my beliefs. She said, "welcome to the 40s, the 'F*ck You Decade.'"

I was like, "yeah! And isn't the sex great?!" And the convo stopped dead.

She said, "well, Michelle, I guess for you, it's also the 'F*ck Me Decade.'"

Julie in Ohio said...

MK - The way you *give* is awe inspiring... :P

Julie in Ohio said...

LOL, Michelle. :o)

Kati said...

LOL! Michelle! I think we should have that embroidered on a throw pillow for you! LOL!

Rach said...

Oh, Michelle, I'm so sorry to disappoint you. But you see, you will have to live through my sister ;o). I had fun, don't get me wrong, but I lived the "watch and learn" teenage years. I had cousins who were very foolish and did things that essentially ruined their lives for many many years, and well, I wasn't much into that. I lived cautiously. And, no, no internet communication problems. I don't think. I wasn't trying to imply I thought *you* were a goody goody.

Now, it's the f*ck me decade for you, you lucky dog!! =)

MK, you are so sweet to devote yourself to Canna's training like that ;o).

ev said...

I love the f*ck you decade myself.

Daughter and I are quite capable of getting into trouble all by our lonesomes. Hubby can't understand the concert thing- we do at least a dozen big ones a year, and travel short distances to get to them too. Now that she can drink legally, we share the designated driver stuff.

I was the goody two shoes in high school, getting married right after graduation. And divorced 2 years later. Then all hell broke loose. ah, well, at least I have some pretty cool memories in my dotage!!!

Julie in Ohio said...

Ev, it's great that you and your daughter do that. You give me hope... :o)
As for the memories, they are always better with some color added... :P
(says Julie whose memories are in black in white with a bright pink stripe in 1994)

Playground Monitor said...

Well if the 40's are the F You/F Me decade, what are the 50's? The "It Don't Work Half the Time" decade? Did I say that? :O

It's just not fair. Women hit their sexual peak when men's equipment stops working reliably. It's just not fair. :stomps foot:


Julie in Ohio said...

Would that make the '30s the "If you want dinner tonight, you'll give it to me now" decade?

psst, Marilyn. I'm not saying anything but I believe there is a little blue pill that may help...

Julie in Ohio said...

Funny scenario: I am sitting here at work trying to get something done (it's working can't you tell?) and working very hard to keep the contents of my lunch in my stomach. You see, in a couple of hours I'm supposed to get up in front of a room full of ladies and make sound come out of my mouth(speak).
I can barely do it on a one on one basis, let alone 15 pairs of eyes staring at me.
Does anyone have any good tips to keep my lunch down and not pass out? I would be greatly appreciative. :\

Rach said...

Jules, what are you presenting? MK would definitely be helpful here...MK, where are you??

Julie in Ohio said...

I'm not presenting anything so much as standing and talking. I have to talk about myself. I know that sounds lame but I can talk about my family, kids,etc until this sun goes down. Myself is a different story. I have everything written down so all I have to do is read but I am already feeling faint and queazy and I have two hours to go. *sigh*

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

JulieO, I think that also works in the 40s, but it's usually uttered by the woman...

Further, Jules, my advice is, just before your program begins, take a deep breath, release it, and think about the lovely footballer to Canna's right. Just think: these women are as eager to hear what I have to say as this Italian god is to see me.

My work here is done.

Rach said...

Yes, Michelle, I had noticed that *ahem* little *ahem* cutie to Canna's right just a few minutes ago. While I love Canna's hips and torso, well, his buddy is also quite quite lovely ;o).

Okay, so here's what to do, Jules, take a deep breath, and begin at the beginning. And, if you have to, pull out the family. They are as much a part of you as anything else. Are there rules against talking about the family? And, what exactly is this group? Are they nice like us or militant? Do you know them? Are they your friends? Can I possibly ask any more questions??

Julie in Ohio said...

OMG, Michelle. Thank you. I needed a good laugh and now I have something other than this stupid nausea to think about. Canna's sidekick really fits that bill. You are the best. :o)

Do you think I should explain to the group why I have this big smile and dreamy look in my eye? :P

Julie in Ohio said...


4)not really
5)potential (maybe I should leave out the part where I wet the bed until I was 20...TMI?)

Did I pass the test? :o)

Julie in Ohio said...

Have we sent Dulce & Gabbana a thank you note yet? That is a spectacular picture.

Rach said...

You passed, A++! Okay, easy as pie, Julie. No sweat. Leave out the bed wetting, and the reason for the dreamy smile (not all church-type ladies are as open to art as we are, ;oP LOL), and you're set! =)

Seriously, these are nice people and you will be fine. Just start talking and let the rambling begin. Heck, pretend you're typing something to us. (Okay, leaving out the air keyboarding...) :oP

Good luck!

Kati said...

AAACk! Sorry Jules, I was working on a project and away from my computer. I wouldn't have had any good advice, other than, "Be yourself." I speak regularaly in front of lots of people but I find that it's easiest just to act casual and off the top of my head. I also don't have a thing about it. I think my sister would actually urp if she had to do it, but I just don't. I get it from my dad. He gives speeches all the time and is a college professor.

Hope it went well. Let us know!

Monica Burns said...

{{{{Bellas}}}} Ya'll have been having WAY too much fun today. I've actually had to WORK! Imagine it, ME working! Perish the thought.

MK - Your friend Heather sounds like an amazing woman. I'd love to meet her sometime. She's got to be one strong babe.

{{{{Marilyn and Michelle}}}} I understand the loss of a parent. Both of mine died young (52 and 63). I want to go the way my Dad did, a 3-wk vacation in Tahiti, come home go out dancing to the wee hours of dawn go to bed and not wake up. Mom on the other hand spent four years battling leukemia.*sigh*

The guys -- Those slouches are definitely not "come hither" looks, they're "I'm ready for the heat, bella, come on and attack" looks. Nothing like an expression of casual ennui to drive a woman mad with the desire to change that look! *grin*

Funny stories...well, there's the peanut butter one, there's the kilt one, there's the...no, can't tell that one...there are so many humiliating ones about me. Then of course there's my bambinos and their crazy antics.

For example, Oldest got her learners permit last week. I took her out in my car to a local highschool parking lot. Idiot that I am I took the camcorder. We trade seats at the highschool. I tell her to ease onto the gas for a short distance, then tell her to gently press on the brakes as I'm filming. The minute I tell her to brake, she jams the pedal to floor, and my head goes flying into the dash, with the camcorder still running. I shall forego repeating my language, especially since I wasn't wearing my seatbelt.

On Sat I took her back to the school lot. She's doing great so I say, ok, let's go out into Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. She's doing fine, but she has this intense fear that she's somehow going to have a collision with oncoming cars so she starts riding the right side of the road.

I immediately tell her she needs to move over. Instead of moving to the left, she continues to go right and coming closer to each mailbox we pass.

Mom's first comment is said calmly, "Ok, you're a little to close to the edge of the road, you need to move over."

No reaction.

Mom, now feeling a bit nervous, tries to keep her voice cool, but notes a distinct edge to her voice. "Honey, if you don't move over you're going to hit a mailbox."

Oldest is still getting closer to the right edge of the road. Mom is now panicked. "DAMN IT, OLDEST! Get over!You're gonna take out a F*&%ing mailbox!"

She swerves wildly to the left, yelling, "Well next time tell me what direction you want to go in."

"I did! I told you to move away from the mailboxes."

"Well you were pointing toward the mailboxes, MomM. How was I supposed to know you wanted me to go the other way?"

Oy! We have some SERIOUS work to do with the girl.

Julie in Ohio said...

Thanks, all. I will take all to heart and see what comes out...not up. :P

Rach said...

Mon, too too funny!! =)

Julie, yes, "Out not up" should be your mantra =) LOL.

Monica Burns said...


Don't rush your words. Take your time.

Imagine all of these ladies naked...well maybe not that far because you might laugh. At least in their underwear.

Write down a couple of points that you want to mention, you'll know how to expand when you mentiont them.

Speak clearly and loud enough so that everyone can hear you. It will keep you from mumbling. *grin*

Finally, remember to just breathe. Although if you hold your breath long enough you'll pass out, and then everyone will be so concerned about you, and they'll be wowed when you insist on going on like the game trouper you are!!

Break a leg, sweetie!!

Monica Burns said...

Rach, she's a strawberry blonde. I told the DH she takes after his family.

He quirks an eyebrow and sneers...ummm, exactly how many accidents and tickets do you have on your record, which is why we've ALWAYS had to pay high risk premiums.

Ok, so he's getting me back because both girls want to "...drive like Mom does!"


Rach said...

I hear ya, Mon. I too am blonde, but not TOO dingy *g*.

My father's friend was my driving school instructor, which was too funny. I was "learning" to drive (I had already been driving somewhat illegally for over 2 years...) with two guys from my high school. When it came time to merge, David would say, "Okay, (insert guy's name here), do a Rachael." Yeah, I have a *tiny* problem with speed... My dad called me "Racin' Rachael" if that gives you a clue.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Marilyn wrote:
It's just not fair. Women hit their sexual peak when men's equipment stops working reliably. It's just not fair. :stomps foot:

Oh, honey, they hit their peaks at 18. 18! Vigorous has it's place and all, but the odds were just never in our favor on that one. :)

Now, an athletic 30 yr old footballer, I'm guessin has harnessed his potential, as it were.

Sheer perfection in this fantasy? He's got a sexy accent and, in his case, Big in All Ways includes his intellect.

Monica Burns said...

So what's the fastest you've ever gone?? And not in the sense of making it with a guy! ROFL

I've gotten up to 110mph in a Pontiac 1000 - That baby was shaking like the space shuttle coming back into the atmosphere. The scariest, most exhilirating ride I've ever done. And NO I will not tell my girls until they're 35! LOL

Playground Monitor said...

Little blue pills. Little yellow pills. Let's just say that penicillin doesn't always cure every infection. Capice? ;-)

18?????????? I didn't have my first date until I was 18 1/2 and a freshman in college. :sigh: I was so behind in all things romantic.


ev said...

18??? My 1st husband was 19 when we got married. No wonder it didn't last.

Monica- First, I have driven way too fast when I was young, and not all of it was on a race track either. We won't talk about the farm roads at nite, with no lights on, with an olds 98, 357 rocket, dual carbs. We rebuilt it that way.
Secondly, take your daughter to a cemetary to practice. There's no one to kill, and she'll know if she hits a stone. I have taken both my daughter, granddaughter and grandson to a big one here, and it works great. You get to do all the road stuff, like turns and 3-pointers, without the speed. And NO ONE gets hurt!!!!

Little blue pills only work when you don't take other pills that don't like them.

Rach said...

You win, Mon. I've only gone 95 in a 1986 Pontiac Sunbird hatch back. This was in 1996, so you know how seriously damaged the car was. On the bright side, no one ever realized it was the blonde chick in the piece of sh*t car doing 90+ mph.

Now, with the girlies in the car I go a more reasonable speed. Safety first for the babies.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

maybe they come in colors other than blue? like mix and match with drugs that don't like the blue ones? is there a doctor in the house?

Monica Burns said...

Ev - You're the second person to tell me a cemetary. LOL I'm going to have to try it, especially if it gets her to equate driving with the possibility of death. *smile*

Rach, I'm soooo proud of you, 95?? TOTALLY AWESOME!! That's not so far from 110! Although I confess now that looking back on it, it was one of the most ILLOGICAL things I've ever done. (smacking head with palm of hand)

Pills, what pills, I just now figured out the 18 part, what did I miss??

As for sexual peaks....this is why you go for the younger men! I married a younger guy. It's taken me 23 years to train him, but he's coming along nicely, and in ways I never imagined. ROFLMAO

Rach said...

Apparently ya'll don't get the spam I get... There's a rainbow of colors. I'm sure if one were to google one of the fun pills and "drug interactions" you could come up with a list of stuff to avoid. Or, if the other pharmaceuticals are necessary, talk to a pharmacist and see what can be done.

I'm just throwin' that out there.

Stacy~ said...

Geez you guys are a wild bunch. Makes me feel like a wallflower in comparison...but maybe that leaves me in the best position for a UATW moment(?) In fact before I ever leave my current job, I want to "test-drive" the desk in my old office. Is that so wrong? Don't know if I'll ever get the nerve, or the right guy to do, but that's on my list of 100 things to do before I die.

Oh I am a terrible speed demon. Driving from Chicago to Cincy this summer was a blur because I'm the one passing everyone up - 95 to 100 miles, easy. Can't help it, I need to get there.

Julie, hope all went well with your presentation. I hate speaking in front of crowds, but the more I do it, the easier it gets.

Wow, huge hugs to those who've lost their parents, at any age. I think having only a mom to raise us makes a lot of us stronger (well both my parents are still living, and mom's a spitfire) and worthy of the Bella title.

Rach said...

Oh, yeah, Mon, it wasn't one of my brighter moments. And the thing is, I did it on more than one occassion!! Going up Afton Mountain doing 85 in an ancient automobile is something to be experienced. I thought the car was going to shake apart. Of course, I had to drop it into third to make it to 85 but I did it!

Rach said...

Stacy, the desk fantasy is AWESOME! May the right guy come along at the right time ;o).

Playground Monitor said...

Drug interactions reminds me of that hilarious scene in "Something's Gotta Give" between Jack Nicholson and Keanu Reeves -- the interactions between little blue pills and nitroglycerine. BOOM!

I gotta get off this computer or I never will get my pages written today.


Kati said...

I got my brand new Honda Prelude up to about 115 MPH when I was younger. It scared the living snot outta me, but it was fun. I had one of those groovy VTEC engticketine things, so it wasn't even shaking.

Now I drive a Volkwagon that's built like a tank, and I guess I probably drive it a bit more recklessly than I should, but not too fast usually.

Although I did get a $%@$#%@ ticket the other day though. But that was for turning right on red at a time when it was illegal. I swear, the police in my town have no crime to fight, so they spend their days giving out speeding and traffic tickets.

Rach said...

Hold on, MK. You live in NOVA and there's no crime to fight?? Come on. Really?

Monica Burns said...

Rach!! Afton Mtn?? That is the COOOLEST drive. I love Flying up that dude!! What irritates me is when some yokel swerves out in front of me to pass a frigging 18wheeler, but they slow down to do it! Sheeesh....now coming OFF the mountain, THAT can be scary doing 90mph. You know that one curve that bears to the right as you're over the top heading into Waynesboro? If there's ever a curve that had my name on it to die on, that's the one. It scares the hell out of me for some reason, you could so easily go airborne off the side of the mountain, and you'd still have time to bend over and kiss your tail goodbye that's how high up it is. YIKES!!a

Stace! I'm with Rach...love that desk image, but how about doing it in the doctor's office, after hours, and I mean the doctor's office, office. *evil grin*

I understand what MK means Rach...the cops are so busy giving tickets for illegal u-turns or going a few miles over the limit that they miss the jerks who do 70mph in a 45mph zone and cut in front of you, nearly clipping your tail.

So help me, if I find Y2KVUU in her beige car, I'm likely to rip her heart out. She passed me on a double yellow line, nearly clipped my front end and raced down the road.

Passionate Italian/Stubborn German that I am, I floored the gas to try and catch her (yep, totally logical Monica lost her cool). The DH was yelling at me to stop trying to catch her(we carpool).

So I screamed at him to give me the Bloody cell phone. I call 911 and give them the license, car description, female description and the direction she's headed.

They say they'll get someone on it. Well I don't see how, both of the state troopers covering the normal stretch of road were headed south when this gal was blitzing north. Grrrr...why am I NEVER around to see justice served? Oh wait, I am...it's usually my A$$ in the sling. *sigh*

Oh, and guess who got a questionnaire about jury duty today? Oy!!

Rach said...

Oh, Mon, I TOTALLY know that curve!! I'm with ya on the terror thing too! I came around a rig doing about 80 and was just getting ready to pop back into fifth gear when I swung a little wide. I thought I was going to wet myself with terror for a second or two. Ah, good times...=)

And how 'bout the impatient chick that lives somewhere in my neighborhood that decided I was going too slow, crossed a double yellow line in front of a high school and "beat" me to the stop light we both knew was there? I was so p!ssed off I laid on the horn, her husband (I'm assuming it was her husband) turns around and flips hubby and me the bird--in front of their two kids!! Wow, training the next generation there?? Grrrrr. I'm SO glad none of the Bellas are like that!

Oh, goody, Mon, jury duty. I did that one January-February 2005. I had a murder trial. Fun, no? It was AGONIZING and I loathed every minute of it. Had it been something minor I don't think I would have minded so much. But, then again, how many people can say they have sat on a jury for a murder trial?

catslady said...

Oh goodness too many stories lol. I was married at 18 and we waited 15 years before having kids so lots of stories to tell from 16 on. After 37 yrs. of marriage it's nice that we both have the same stories. (but of course told from a different perspective sometimes)
But isn't it nice when you have all these new and old e-girlfriends to tell stories to who aren't bored of them yet lol.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

You're supposed to imagine someone else with you in the desk fantasy? doh!

ev said...

I hate the GD truck drivers that ride on my A$$ going 65+ and I can't even see their headlights they are so close. Like they can stop on a dime- yeah right over the top of my truck.

How I managed to get this far with only one ticket- in 1980- I have absolutely no idea. All I can say is thank god for cruise control. The Troopers have no sense of humor.

Julie in Ohio said...

How did you guys go from UATD fantasies (nice one Stace. I'm with ya on the office lovin') to road rage in the short time that I was gone? :P

BTW, count in the numbers of "I can't drive 55" club. I make my hubby nervous when I get behind the wheel (which is all the time because I love to drive) but my kids love it. Everything is a race to them. They even wanted to race the people when we were in a funeral procession. I told them that that is wrong but we'll race them back to the reception. :o)

OT: The talk went well. I didn't faint, vomit or wet myself for I feel like it was a success. {{Gigantic hugs to you, Bellas.}} I couldn't have done it without you. As I was sitting waiting for my turn and thought about the advice you gave and smiled. I'm sure there were those who were curious what the joke was but nobody asked so I didn't tell. :o)

Rach said...

It seems I81 in Virginia is the WORST for truckers with bad manners. I hear ya, Ev! There's nothing quite like *knowing* you are going to be a pancake if you so much as *tap* your brakes. Mon, you were complaining about the yokels jumping in front of you going up the mountain? Well, what about the truckers?? Grrrrrr.

Jules, YAY! Canna and his right hand man will do it every time ;o).

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Canna's right hand man. Funny on oh, so many levels, Rache.

Hooray for you, Jules! Wish we coulda been there. Bet you rocked. You shoulda told em, though, what was makin you smile.

Before I turn in tonite, may I once again draw your attention to our happy D & G friend?

That's better. Sweet dreams, my Bellas, and thank you for making my time at PlotMonkeys even more fun today. Aren't they a nice, positive bunch, too?

I was real proud of youz. And was pretty taken with today's discussions here.

Buonanotte, Bellas!

Stacy~ said...

Oh you guys are talking about some of my driving pet peeves. I swear truckers love to p*ss me off when they're following each other then the one moves into the left lane 2 seconds before you start passing and they're driving side by side at about 70 freakin' miles an hour!!! Grandpa behind the wheel, good grief. I hate that. My dad is one of those drivers who will not pass and he never lets anyone else drive. We'd all be screaming at him and nothing - like dead air between his ears. Ugh. I better stop thinking about this - stationary road rage is so not a good thing before bedtime.

But what is...UATW or UATD stuff. Uh yeah Michelle, someone BESIDES me is there, preferrably a mechanic I know named Geoff, but we won't go there. Well, I will, in my dreams. Desk, wall, office...it's all good ;)

Cool Julie - we knew you could do it. You're one of the Bellas, afer all.

Just finished Evanovich's "Ten Big Ones" and ooooh, me love me some Ranger/Joe manwich. Sorry girls, I can't pick just one. I'm a proud member of the Vivi fanclub.

Monica Burns said...

Ok, I have to tell you, I get more road rage from 4 wheelers than I do the 18wheel variety, but then for 8 months I drove I-81 to Richmond and back to Roanoke every Friday and Sunday.

Yeah, I had the 18wheelers who were jerks, but the cars far outnumbered those truckers. Of course, I don't hesitate to call 911 about the jerks who screw with me. I follow them until the cops show up, and I have charges pressed. I had a tour bus driver try to run me out of my lane on I-95 when Oldest was about 3 or 4, I called the police, followed the bus about 30 miles out of the way, and pressed charges for reckless driving. Went to court and the guy lost his license. So sometimes the system does work. But it would be nice if people would just stop being so damn rude.

I mean there was a jerk the other night who was racing through the parking lot while Oldest was practicing driving and just whipped right around her. I immediately switched places with her, and drove to where he'd parked near the soccer field. I pulled up and politely, calmly and succinctly told him that he'd scared the hell out of my kid, and that the next time he came up on a car he wasn't sure about what it was doing to be a bit more patient or he was apt to be in an accident. He politely apologized, although I could read his eyes that said I was loco.

As we pulled away, Oldest goes, "Mom, are you crazy, he could have have been a drug dealer and had a gun in the seat beside him." (Later on the DH agreed)

I just shrugged and said, "You know, honey, sometimes you just have to make a stand and live with the possibility that it's your time to die. If you don't then you live in fear."

Of course, I believe that my time is already written, so it's easier for me. The question is HOW will I go. *grin* So like Auntie Mame says, "Live, Live LIVE!" or in the words of the Klingons. "Everyday's a good day to die." LOL

Wow, Jules -- you're right! How did I digress so far off of that picture!! LOL So glad your speech went off well. See, we knew you could do it!

About the D&G...Does the cutie on the left have a partiality for excitement or is he just quite well-h..built and that if we were to see him in all his glory he would be an unbelievable sight? LOL

I do have to say, I'm quite taken with Mr. Orange. I've said it before and I'll say it again, ennui is just the thing to make me hot. ROFL

Monica Burns said...

Ok, Stace, I'm SOOOOO with you on that one! (Truckers going UP HILL, passing another). Of course, I speed up to get past those jokers so I can avoid any issues like that if possible. *grin*

Oh and you need to ride with my DH, he's notorious for not applying the brakes until the guy in front of him does, EVEN WHEN four cars in front of the joker in front of us have BRAKED! OY!

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Mi scusi, but I had to come back. Mon, ennui? I've never heard what he's got called that before, but I'll accept your definition.

Oh. You meant his attitude.

My bad.

But Mr. azzuri with the big, thick elastic band? Really, Mon. I think it's all of the above. Good GOD! I'm in love.

Um, yeah. My husband's away on business til tomorrow night. Nuff said, I guess.

Geoff the mechanic? Do, oh, do tell, Miss Stacy...

Monica Burns said...

Michelle, you gotta go to one of those sex toy parties and buy some relief for when the DH is traveling, and some toys for when he ain;t!! ROFL

Absolutely his attitude. Look at him, he's just lounging there with this look that says, "I've seen it all, enthrall me, I dare you!"

I'm ready to challenge him! LOL

Cathie said...

I'm new visiting here, but haveing a blast!

Oh I often do tell stories over mostly from my kids, who either said or did the darnest things!

But one thing with my hubby, when he sees the UPS man, he tells me 'here's your boyfriend' LOL.
Probably knows I ordered more books and always excited when they come, LOL

Unknown said...

My favorite story is still the one about the first time I had 'high tea' with my prospective in-laws. During the meal, I lost half a fried tomato up my sleeve and ended up with trifle in my hair...
wow were they impressed.
(been married to the same lovely man for 20 years tho, so I must have done something right!)
Love love love the ads of the Italian football team-almost passed out in the middle of Borders when I saw the first one in GQ magazine.
Kate Pearce
"Planet Mail" Ellora's Cave
"Where Have all the Cowboys gone?" Virgin 'Cheek' Apr 2007

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

now, Bella Kate! You haven't said whether your in-laws like to remember that story!

I'm kinda wishing I'd seen the D&G ad for the first time in a public place; might have felt a little naughty and appealed to the exhibitionist in me.

GOD I love those Italian men.