Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Emma Holly asks: Am I a CosmoChick?

Am I a CosmoChick? I guess I am, because I belong to a group calling itself the CosmoChix, but that suggests someone cool to me and, to tell you the truth, cool is one thing I've never been. Oh, maybe now and then I manage what I call The Cool of the Uncool--you know, the dweebs from high school that none of the popular kids wanted to get too near to . . . until they ended up founding brilliantly snide magazines or becoming software billionaires.

That kind of cool I occasionally feel sweep over me.

The other CosmoChix, by contrast, seem like the real deal to me. Betina Krahn is really cool because she's one of the nicest successful people I know, and also rather gorgeous. Lois Greiman is cool because she can ride horses really fast and also make them do that dressage thing where they dance for you (ditto on the gorgeous business for her, though she probably won't believe me even though she used to be a model!). Michele Hauf is cool because I think she was probably a fairy in another life--the Cool of the Otherworldly, if you like. Definitely one of a kind! I don't know Cynthia Williams or Michelle Buonfiglio very well, but I'm convinced Cynthia is cool because she hangs out with ghosthunters, and Michelle not only writes really witty book reviews, she writes them about my books.

This leaves me, now obliged to confess that I've never consumed a Cosmopolitan, buy most of my clothes at Target, don't spend endless hours discussing sex with my girlfriends, and have never had hordes of men vying for my affection. (Yes, I know: rats!)

On the other hand, I am reasonably comfortable with myself, very fortunate in my friends, and extremely fulfilled in my career. Which is, when you think about it, sort of cool.So maybe I am a CosmoChick, after all.

You're welcome to judge for yourself at our new blog ( where we'll all be chattering about this and that three times a week. Cool or not, you're bound to fit in!

How Cool R U?

Encore! Emma Holly's new novel, "All U Can Eat" hits shelves May 2. She'll guestblog for us again to celebrate!

Encore due! We're All Adults Here Alert: If you choose to explore the content of Emma's site, be prepared for writing, books, and more stuff celebrating women and their expression of sensuality, sexuality, and free speech. Yeah, Baby.


Stacy~ said...

Well, I think the new cool is to be uncool. Seriously. Some of the people that are cool just seem like a big, ole mess to me. The fact that us "uncool" people feel more secure with our lives, even if we don't wear the latest fashions, or take a page out of "Sexy and the City" just means that we are confident, successful women in our our right, marching to our own mariachi band and having a Godiva chocolate martini while doing it (or is that just me?)

Oh, btw, I'm more of a Kohl's girl, but the rest fits me to a "t". Long live the unpopular who make up their own rules :)

amy kennedy said...

Maybe you're right Stacy--maybe uncool is the new cool.

I like myself, and my kids think I'm cool--but still a mom. I just don't worry about it anymore--that's the beauty of being 47 I'm sure I'm fabulous, except when I'm not.

Gotta say Emma--I love your writing--Strange Attractions almost did me in.

Oh and Target IS cool.

Rach said...

I have NEVER been cool. EVER. Even now as a "grown up" (term used very loosely =) ), I'm still not cool. How many other 29 year old women do you know who drive minivans and it? I think I revel in my uncoolness, much like Stacy said.

But, everyone I hang out with is kinda like that so I'm very comfortable with them and with myself. And, isn't that what it all comes down to? Being comfortable with yourself? Plus, don't we usually think other people are cooler than we are?

Emma, I have read your two "Beyond" books and just LOVED them! Finger scorching good!

And, finally Tarjay is the BEST!!

Anonymous said...

Am I cool? Oh, Lord, no. Never was. Wanted to be of course, part of that in crowd who looked like they had so much fun (even if it was just making fun of the rest of us). I think it has more to do with the fact that I don't have the ability to get along very well with people, I'm too opinionated, more so than my smarty-pants status.

As a child, and all the way through college, it bothered me. But not so much anymore (although I'm still just 25) even though I've often wondered what it would be like to have this big group of friends.

I have to agree, Strange Attractions almost did me in as well. And I've since gotten two other friends to read it.

Anonymous said...

I am definitely not cool. Wasn't cool in grade school or high school or university... or ever. I have the fashion sense of a gnat. Even my kids cringe at my clothing choices, LOL!

Amy'skf - it's actually cool that your kids think you're cool. Mine thought that about me, then they hit high school. OY!

amy kennedy said...

I think coolness is being comfortable in your own skin--who you are, how you act...I'm not saying it's not okay to bettah' yourself or change something you don't like, but it always has to come down to *liking* yourself in all your stages.

I grew up with a mother who firmly believed in affirmations (and fairies, Emma)and the affirmation we used the most was:
--I love myself unconditionally--

Now sometimes my sisters and I would flit about the house singing this in a falsetto voice and then fall down in hysteria, but I think it stuck.

amy kennedy said...

Hey Valeen, I have to add a comment about Indiana Jones--sorry Emma--make a day of it, rent all three, pop some corn and just surrender to the moment.

Emma Holly said...

Oh, pish-tosh, of course I wear the latest fashions, Stacy . . . in plain, colored T-shirts *g*.

If your kids think you're cool, Amy, I think you really must be. They're a tough audience! Glad you liked Strange Attractions.

Rachd: "Finger-scorching good" - I'll have to remember that one.

Valeen, you're a baby and it's much too soon to rule out your chance to try out that big group of friends thing, smarty-pants or no. Who knows? You may be in the process of building it right now. One of my best friends is a smarty-pants, and she is one of the biggest people persons I've ever met. I think the openness of your heart and your willingness to appreciate others is what really counts. And, naturally, it speaks well of you that you're willing to share your excellent reading taste with your friends *g*.

Eve, I believe it is your God-given right to embarrass your children with your clothing choices. If they want to be individuals, they have to let you be one, too!

Monica Burns said...

Cool? I've ALWAYS been cool. The problem is NO ONE else realized it. *sigh* So I've always been on the outside of every "Cool" inner circle. As a kid that hurt, but now?? I don't care, I love who I am. Of course, I'm a bit of a sham, no one really knows the real me. I'm not willing to open myself up that much. I'm open and honest to a certain degree, but I've got more insecurities than most people. *grin* I just use bravado to act like they're not there.

My kids think I'm cool too. I'm still very much a kid at heart, so I enjoy a lot of the same things my kids do, PS2 games, Harry Potter, goofy games, roller coasters, scary rides, acting like a goofball or whatever.

God Forbid I ever grow up, that's the day I die. *grin*

Monica <-- who's looking at her word verification and thinking hmmm what sort of acronym could this be??? BESFVG Don't ask! LOL

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Oh, but I must ask, Monica, for it could be added to our Lexicon, could it not?

Now, how cool is it that Emma Holly just pranced over here to say hi? Would she have done that if we weren't hip and with-it?

It pains me, ah say, PAINS me to hear my Bellas talk as if they're not cool! Are we not cool merely by association? Well, not your association with me, but I've been feeling kinda cool lately cause you guys let me hang with you.

I like to imagine I'm cool, and I guess we do own a certain cache if we embrace it. We read about love and sex all the time. And most of the people we know don't. It's our fun little secret.

When I'm at neighborhood cookcouts with Miss "I do 300 situps a day" and Uber-moms galor, I love stopping the convo dead with my answer to the "so what do you do?" question. Even if I get the "I don't read that trash" answer (to which I'd love to respond, 'Honey, My guess woulda been you didn't even know how to read,' but that would have been mean-spirited), I still get a kick out of the looks of something like respect my husband gets from the other husbands. I guess, secondary to marrying a pole-dancer or a trophy wife, middle-aged guys think it'd be cool if their wives thought and wrote about sex all the time.

Emma Holly said...

Well, it's much better to believe you're cool yourself than to wait for somebody else to convince you that you are, because I'm not sure that ever works. Not to get too existential here, but who is the "real" anyone? Most people, to a greater or lesser degree, keep parts of themself strictly to themselves. That doesn't make you a sham, it just makes you multifaceted. Anyway, that's *my* story and I'm sticking to it!

Emma Holly said...

How cool is it that michelle and I were posting at the same time? Like, synchronicity, man. My previous response was for Monica.

Lucy Monroe said...

Emma...I love your writing. I've read all the upyrs and demon books and enjoyed every one. :) My ed at Berkley sent me the first one and then I was hooked. LOL Won't get into listing faves, but will say that the sub story between Carolyn and her gardner in "Courting Midnight" was fab. I liked both of those characters...a lot! :)

As for cool? Life *is* cool and if you enjoy living it, then're cool. Does someone else have to agree? Heck, no. What's the point? Cool people do not look for approval, they assume it. I love life, no matter how hard it gets sometimes...every day is an adventure and I want to live it to the fullest. I guess that makes me passionate, which in my mind is ultra cool. LOL

And Michelle, darling, that must be why you feel so cool. Because you are so passionate about life, about romance, about good sex...those gouys who think your dh is lucky are *right*. :)

Speaking of, mine decided to work from home today and I'm loving the extra face-to-face time without teens. He's so darn snaxy. ;)

Hugs to all,

Amanda said...

So cool we're talking about coolness today. Way, way, cool;)

I've never been one to think of myself as cool--unless nerd chic is cool. I too shop at Target (love those colored tees, Emma!) and was the brainiac in school. Hmmm...I think I see a pattern here...Maybe we are cool and just don't know it--maybe that's the new cool...

My RBTB sisters, you are all cool to me! Though since I'm not cool, I don't know if that *counts*.

Emma, just recently read the Beyond Innocence and Beyond Seduction combo and was very impressed. You are my hero for the way you used the Pre-Raphaelites (and freaky Ruskin and his fear of female pubic hair) in Beyond Seduction. Which probably makes me a total nerd, but there you go...
Anyway, you not only worked the historical angle but also the romance angle...brilliant.

And your glasses in your pic are way cool...

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

OK. This is way uncool, cauwse, as usual, I'm like 3 hours past deadline and I'm blogging instead of writing.

So. 2 yrs ago my husband gives me Emma's In the Flesh for xmas. And I am blown away, disturbed, turned-on. I'd never read her before, and was intrigued by the Asian am heroe, cause I was fleshing a Chinese am guy at the time and wanted to know how white audiences thought about the int.racial thing. Anyway, the psychodynamics of this book really hit me viscerally cause of my own crap, but I was hooked on the EH writing from there on. And, I loved the Ctng Midnight gardener character/lovers, too, Luc. Flippin upyrs and the way they can make so much of themselves grow bigger. Man, where is that line between fangirl and reality.

So. That's my EH story. Other than she also created the CosmoChix martini glass logo you see here and on the CosmoChx site.

Emma Holly said...

Lucy, who is your editor at Berkley? (I can't help it. I love to know who likes me at my publisher *g*) I believe you're ultracool, absolutely. Passion is excellent.

Mandacoll, glad you liked the "Beyonds". I don't know who can read that freaky Ruskin story and not have it stick in their minds - maybe because we've all been through a time when the reality of naked people quite surprised us. Hopefully, for most of us, it wasn't our wedding night!

I'm sure by the end of the day we'll all be convinced we're completely cool.

So, Michelle, you started with In the Flesh . . . One of my more challenging early erotics. A few readers mentioned they couldn't get into an Asian hero, and I'm, like, hello! Have you seen Bruce Lee with his shirt off? But I choose my own kinks to write about, and cross my fingers that other people will like them. If you liked the upyr's special talents, you'll probably like my demons, too - though it may be one of those disturbed and turned on situations. PRINCE OF ICE, which comes out in Nov, gets especially creative *g*

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Oh, Emma, say it ain't so! There are so many hot Aisan guys. Also, I'm kind of a connoisseur (and this is a dubious interest, at best) of great descriptions of penises. David's from ITF is definitely a memorable one on my shortlist. You know what I mean. Oh, and that thing he does, touching the jawline of the geisha while the hn watches? That is an excruciatingly painful and smart detail, the kind that makes your books stand out.

Amanda said...

I don't get why readers weren't into the hot Asian guy either (note to self: buy In the Flesh). B.D. Wong on Law and Order SVU is a major crush for me (think he might be gay, but it's not like I'm going to meet him!).

And since you are being frank, Michelle, I'll say that I have a major thing for hot Indian (as in from India) guys--especially when they have a British accent...hello, post-colonialism!

But when it comes down to it, a hot guy is a hot guy, no matter what his race or nationality. I'm an equal opportunity objectifier of male beauty;)

Monica Burns said...

Here's the reason so many women think they're uncool. It's because Madison Avenue trys to make all of us think we have to be something they fashion out of thin air a Tyra or whoever the latest supermodel is. It's also because we're so busy being caretakers for others we forget to take care of ourselves. Trust me...the older one gets the easier it gets to just say no! Ummm, wasn't that a sex related saying???

As for me, I'm rather plump, but the DH says "Do you hear me complaining?" and I've got an attractive face (no Marilyn Monroe - glad I didn't have HER angst), but I'm learning to like my physical self as much as I like my inner self. I still look at Michelle's picture and go *sigh* to be that young, sexy, brilliant and beautiful. NOW I have to look at Emma's GREAT photo and go, HEY! She'd make a GREAT Sexy Librarian Charater! How others perceive us is generally not how we perceive ourselves. Now WHY is that??

As for coool, It's DEFINTELY COOL to be here on the RBTB. Emma is already in on the mix. She sounds like she's been part of us for AGES!! Totally cool that is!! BTW, Emma, I LOVED your story in Fantasy. I'm lousy with titles - sorry! I'm huge into spiritual type of things, and the Tibetian monk angle was FANTASTIC. And I have to admit I really enjoyed the mentor monk. He was FAB! I love how some authors can make me love a secondary character almost as much as the H/H. WTG.

I think we need to come up with a tagline.. Something like RBTB-Be Cool and Discuss the Heat of Romance

I's lousy, but someone had to write it! LOL

As for our lexicon, Michelle, BESFVG = Best Ever Sexy, Fun-loving, Voluptuous Goddess

Monica <---who's getting all the good word verifications today! nqduh

no quip duh!

Lucy Monroe said... ed at the time was Louisa Edwards (a wonderful ed if there ever was one), but when she got married and moved away, I got assigned to Kate Seaver. Who is also absolutely LOVELY to work with. :)

I'd chat more, but um...I did mention GG is home (gorgeous guy)? :)

Rach said...

You know something, guys, as I'm reading all our posts, we all were so not cool like the "cool kids". Um, can anyone remember why they were so cool anyway??

I like hanging out with all you cool people. You're my chillin' place at the end of the day. =)

Emma Holly said...

I love the spiritual stuff, too, Monica. Sometimes I forget how long I've been putting it in my books until someone reminds me.

Thanks for letting me know, Lucy. Have fun with the GG :-)

Rachd, I think most of the "cool kids" weren't sure they were cool. It's a rare human being who really knows who he or she is and doesn't give a rip what other folks say.

Rach said...

Yeah, you're right, Emma. And the thing is, the things they were cool for really just don't count in adulthood. The things that are cool now are those that you mentioned, knowing who you are and not caring what anyone else thinks! I strive to achieve that someday. My mom's there now and she seems so at ease with everything.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Let me disabuse you of the notion, Monica, that I am either young or pretty. Emma can vouch for this. I think my cats find me attractive, however, cause they rub up against me a lot.

I have to say that Emma is one of those writers who always amazes me. She pushes the envelope in so many ways: style, topic, theme, erotic content. She speaks to the woman in me, the reader, the writer, the flippin intellectual wannabe who can't turn off the analysis of character psychology.

But, her books are always sit-back-and-enjoy.

Can I tell you how cool I think youz are, and how proud I am that you write such wonderful, smart and funny stuff here? Now, Emma will tell all the rest of the CosmoChix that RBtheB is the place 2 B, and they'll all be fighting to be the next Chick posted here.

I've just been laughing like a lunatic all day.

And, Manda, I love the EOO, Equal Op Objectifier. LOL.

Emma Holly said...

Oh, Michelle is so young and pretty. I'm not letting her off that hook. (And why must she imply that her cats' opinions matter less? I'm sure they think their opinions are the *most* important.) I just want to thank everybody (and Michelle!) for welcoming me as your guest blogger today. I had a great time!

As Ahnuld would say, "Ahl be bahck!"

Monica Burns said...

I knew better. *grin* Even if she wasn't gorgeous outside, her inner beauty shines really bright on the blog here. So I'm delighted to be a part of the CBs of RBTB - that's Cool Bellas of RBTB

Thanks for being here Emma, you were a GREAT guest blogger.