Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Bridesmaid Nightmares from Hell

Yesterday, I told you to get your bridesmaid's dresses ready for Julia Quinn's guestblog in June. And I started to think about Bridesmaids' Hellish Nightmares. I'm sure mine had some. Like when I left my Maid of Honor at the church after the Mass.

So, canta, Bellas:

What's your worst -- or best -- bridesmaid's tale?

(Not to be confused with "The Handmaid's Tale," which really was a nightmare. Her tale, not the book. You know what I mean).

Encore! Blog Alert! Eve Silver guestblogs Tomorrow, April 20! Her blogs a really good'un, so make sure to stop by, cause she's gonna check in throughout the day. :)


Anonymous said...

I don't have any bridesmaid tales seeing as how I've never been one.

But I can't wait to read some of them!

And hope to hell I don't give mine any sorry tales come next summer.

Julie in Ohio said...

I told my best dress story yesterday about being a bridesmaid for my cousin, but I was maid of honor for my sister. I was 18 years old and just graduated from high school the week before. I was so excited because I had gotten contact lenses literally the day before the wedding. Well, I'm an emotional train wreck on a good day, add to it my sister's wedding and needless to say I cried the entire service. By the end my eyes were pretty much glued shut. After the service we were supposed to take the pictures and I had not only ruined my makeup but my eyes were swollen and my contacts were irritating.
My cousin, who was also in the wedding, tried to fix my makeup. However, in all of the pictures you can barely make out my eyes because I am squinting and blinking.

I'm sure my mother was pleased (yeah,right), but she has never mentioned it. My kids have looked at the pictures and I have to point myself out every time because they can't find me. My sister only had 3 attendants, including me.

Rach said...

My stories aren't too horrid. I had to purchase a bridesmaid's dress for my best friend's wedding. She never got married. Need I say more? The dress was over $150, and as a newly graduated college student sans job, but with a brand-new husband, this was a HUGE amount.

No me, I got my girls' dresses from the Chadwicks catalogue for $39 each. They weren't horribly ugly either. They were't spectacular, but for $39 you really couldn't beat it!

Rach said...

Oh, geeze, that should read "NOW me" not "NO me". Sorry for the typo.

amy kennedy said...

I was the maid (matron--hate that word)of honor for my sister's wedding--the dresses were long fitted black skirts with a slit up the side and a matching fitted jacket.

I wore the hell out of that thing.

I wore it to other weddings, New Year's Eves, just the jacket with jeans, just the skirt with a sweater. But eventually the marriage was over and not in a 'let's still be reasonable with each other' way--but more of a 'he's the devil incanate' sort of way--I felt guilty wearing it.

Plus it so 90s.

I miss that suit.

amy kennedy said...

Plus it WAS so 90s. Sheesh.

I so stpid.

Vivi Anna said...

I was my sister's maid of honor...I got very bad food poisoning the night before. In the morning of the wedding, I was so sick, my mom had to do my hair and makeup while I laid on the floor in the bathroom beside the toilet. I almost passed out at the church, but I made it through the ceremony and threw up after.

The nice thing was though...the best man, who was very cute, got me some pepto bismal and some gum out of his own pocket and I felt much better. *side note* I ended up sleeping with him...just as a way to say thank you!!! ;-)

Amanda said...

I was a bridesmaid a year ago last weekend for my best friend. Our dress was a hand made skirt by an out of town designer paired with a plain pink tee and chunky necklaces. The designer hand dyed the skirts and they were one of a kind. When we looked at the prototypes we loved them, but when they arrived in the mail (after we'd sent the designer our measurements) they didn't fit. Mine was way too short. So we had to send it back, she added fabric to the bottom but it was still too short and she'd had to dye my fabric in a different batch because I am so much taller than the other bridesmaids. I sucked it up and wore it anyway and everything was fine. If anyone noticed they didn't say anything. The wedding was lovely, but boy were we stressed out beforehand...

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

OK, Vivi? How did I know your story was gonna end that way. I so never was in a wedding where there were cute groomsmen. I didn't even get lucky on my own wedding night; we were exhausted. Then, when we got to the honeymoon hotel, they'd given us a room with double beds. The kicker? We didn't care about that, either. We were still exhausted.

You were very nice to wear the pink skirt, Manda. Why do these things happen? Why?

Rache: I hope your friend appreciates you. You were very kind to your attendants. I remember saying to my attendants, get this: Oh, and you can wear it again. Where? In weirdo wedding world? We must lose touch with reality when we're getting married.

I'm heading back to read your post now, JulieO. Did you continue with the contacts? I try never to show my kids pictures of me way back when.

Valeen: you're a nice girl, but I'm pretty sure you'll do something horrible to your maids and not even realize it. I think we all do. Except, apparently, Amy's sister, who chose the best bridesmaid dress ever.

Wait! I did have a really kinda pretty blue satin maid's dress with a black velvet bolero-type jacket (1990). I had it cut down and wore it to give a recital. I remember making my hair really big that day.

Vivi, again. Why wasn't I ever bold when I was young and single. I thought I was so forward cause I kinda chased my husband. Sorta.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Oh, yes, JulieO, now I've refreshed my memory and read it again. I remember being jealous at the "I'm rather big-chested" part. Imagine the sound of my raspberry, please.

But, isn't it funny how longsuffering you and your fellow bridesmaids were? In fact, we shoould raise a toast to bridesmaids everywhere and shout, "we feel your pain!"

Anonymous said...

I was in university, poor as anything, had to pay for the dress I knew I'd never, ever, ever wear again. And in all the pictures, we bridesmaids looked like the Flying Nuns because our organza (sp?) capes kept blowing in gale force winds. And the bride snatched my pearl earrings because she like them better than hers. And I had to hold up her dress while she went to the bathroom because the maid of honour abdicated. Then while driving home, I spotted the bride and groom ahead of me on the winding road. She's sitting in the car (with her high veil), steering while the groom pushed. And yeah, they took my car because they needed to get to the airport early the next morning.

It was such a bitter experience that I don't get any satisfaction in retelling it.

Monica Burns said...

I'm BACKK!!! *grin* Bridesmaid stories. I've only been in a couple of weddings.

Anyway, I have a GOOD story. When the DH and I got married (and we were like you and your DH, Michelle - slept the wedding night away - we partied hard)

All of my sisters were in my wedding and my middle sister was the only one not married. There were a couple of cute guys the DH asked to be in the party. So the outdoor reception is going full blast, and we see my sis coming back from a looooonnnnng walk in the dark with one of the groomsmen. Sixteen months later the two of them were married. I feel soooo great about having brought the two of them together. It's unlikely they would have met otherwise, and if they had, it would have been a lot more time. As it was, my Dad got to see all of his kids married because he was gone less than a year after my sis married. So I think that's the kind of romantic story with a bittersweet ending.


Vivi Anna said...

LOL, Michelle, I can't help it...most of my stories involve me in some kind of compromising position...that was when I was young and crazy. Now, I just write about other crazy women in compromising positions....LOL

Julie in Ohio said...

Michelle, yes I do still wear contacts. I have now, after 12 years, figured out that when I feel a little weepy to immediately remove them or carry eye drops. And having a big chest is not always a good thing. Although in the case of the bridesmaids dress, I was the only one who at least didn't gap as bad as some of the others but still had to be very careful. It was an awkward evening.

Speaking of wedding nights, my DH and I spent ours at an urgent care center. My husband was awefully pale throughout the wedding and I thought at the time that it was so cute that he must be nervous. It turns out he had strep throat and was running a temperature of 103. We now joke how we put the "in sickness and in health" to the test on the same day that we said it. It was a long night, but at least my DH can brag about how he kept me up all night.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Oh, gosh, Nancy. I'm sorry to dig that back up for you. Really, why do we drag our friends into these wedding debacles, anyway? I think brides do think they're honoring friends by asking them to take part. or they just feel guilty if they dont ask all their friends.

Hey, Monica! Welcome back from deadline dementia. Nice to hear your good story. Sigh. I find those "we got together when we were in somebody's wedding"
stories so romantic. Glad your dad got to see that, too.

JulieO, I'm laughing about the up all night comment. The poor guy. And I can totally see thinking it was sweet that he was so pale on the altar. I didn't see him before, but in the video, my husb and keeps repeating (just before the ceremony) "i'm fine. everything's fine. just. fine." I think that's still pretty much his line.

Stacy~ said...

My story is soooo boring. Not even a story. I was a bridesmaid exactly once (last Oct) and I wish I had a Vivi story to share but alas, no such luck. The grooms were all married, and there were no cute guys that were unattached. (Story of my life).

The most excitement that I had was when me and one of the other bridesmaids decided to decorate the honeymoon suite, so we are traipsing through our little town, barefoot in our gowns, looking for condoms and other such goodies - the hotel didn't have any. Hmmm... anyway, we were advised to go to a gas station, a grocery store, a couple of bars (yeah, like we'd trust condoms from there!) and finally we were told by a bunch of teenagers to go to this one convenience store - Eureka! Melissa & I run into the store, screaming "yay, condoms!" Sad, just sad. (Michelle, the Iron Range is where the wedding was and if you know the area, you'd understand perfectly)

Um, 'nother shameless plug. I posted an interview with MaryJanice Davidson @ my blog (cuz I wanna be just like Michelle when I grow up!) so let me know if you'd like to see it. Or Michelle if you're sick of me already, boot my butt outta here (oh, please, not really!)

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

We were supposed to pick up 4 matching bridesmaid dresses for my sister's wedding and she had them all lying out on her dining room table and the cat had peed on them! I'm not kidding, they smelled horrible and there wasn't time to wash before the ceremony. We were panicking, thank god for because we picked up a few more but it was almost a disaster! Cat pee is one of the worst smelling substances on this earth.

viagra online said...

wow Amanda, your tale is terrific good! I wonder if you have more stories like this one.