Thursday, March 23, 2006

Reading in Bed

We all know the anecdotal evidence: men whose women read romance report more and hotter, um, romance in their lives. My husband is particularly thankful I've tossed aside the Oprah for the Brava.

Since we're all girlfriends here -- and don't wax all "this is far too personal" on me cause we're on the net, for gosh sake --

How has your reading romance enhanced yours and your guy's, well, romantic life?

There's NST as TMI on RBtheBlog, Bellas!
Yet another reason to always keep one's eye on the ball. I give you Gerard...

Encore! This may change your thoughts about men in Kilts. But Gerard's there, as well as my boy David Duchovny (smarty Princeton hottie), and a shocking, I tell you, shocking photo of Hugh Jackman!


Monica Burns said...

OMIGOD!! GB even has great knees!! I don't even want to dream about other appendages!! ROFL

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! LOL Although I do have to say that Alan Rickman has the best legs of the group. Nice strong calves. Of course it helps that I happen to love him as an actor, and he's cute in his own way. And I'm sorry Michelle, but David D,just looks plain goofy in his outfit.*grin*

As for romance heating up the bedroom. Before I started writing it helped some. But now...well again I'll repeat my husband's favorite phrase, "My wife's an erotic romance writer and I'm happy." *wicked grin*

As for WHY romance reading helps in the bedroom, my reasoning is this. Women are cerebral creatures. We want the talk, the romance, the sexual tension leading up to the moment to be turned on. Most guys want to be like Nike and just do it. Bada boom bada bing. Foreplay isn't every guy's thing, a romance book is like foreplay for a lot of women IMHO. So is my reasoning based on sound scientific theory. Nope, just enough life to form an opinion, but we all know what those are worth! LOL

Now scrolling down for more GB. LOL


Monica Burns said...

Oh and thanks for the pic of Hugh, but I love him better in Van Helsing, raw and undone. LOL

Playground Monitor said...

Uhmm... well... yeah. **gg**

P.S. I think Gerard has cute knees too. And those strappy shoes!


Vivi Anna said...

I love Alan Rickman. He was so sexy in as the Sheriff of Notthingham in what's his names' Robin Hood movie. I thought he was so sexy I wrote a story called the Sinister Sheriff based on his very dark, very sexy characterization.

And I love Hugh, but what in all &^%$ is he doing on his knees?

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Oh, but Vivi! Where better to have Hugh than on his knees? But I'm sure you thought of that.

And you agree with Monica on Alan Rickman. So, I wasn't the only mom in the audience at Harry Potter fantasizing about a naughty little schoolroom discipline scene with Prof Snape? Oops. TMI?

I loved Rickman in HBO Rasputin years ago, and also in S and Sensability. He was such a great war hero character.

I like the pic of Hugh cause he's so not afraid to flirt with Alan Cummings. And how nonplussed does Alan look? Hugh's just very comfortable in his masculinity. I really like Cummings in Circle of Friends and tons of other stuff.

Vivi Anna said...

Oh, I agree, I mean Hugh played The Man from Oz on stage for pete's sake....he's very comfortable in who he is...

and I like Alan Cummings too, he was fantastic as the Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner in XMen 2.

And yes, I had those same thoughts while watching hte Harry Potter films...

Monica Burns said...

Say, Michelle. You mentioned hot romance and bed in pratically the same breath, Thought you and others might get a kick out of this little ditty.

Early this morning, around 4:30pm I awoke to this popping sound. In my dim awareness due to the wee hour, I took it to be a natural phenomenon. But suddenly the DH says, what's that popping noise. So I get up and stumble toward my dresser looking for the noise. I turn around and see sparks flying like mad from the electric blanket's connector. Oi!

Lucy Monroe said... that is NOT the kind of sparks flying in bed we write about! How scary!

Okay...I *loved* the men in kilts because I don't's just that a guy who has the confidence to wear one could be a hero in one of my books. That's all I've got to say. :)

On the amorous feelings sparked by sexy/erotic romance? Definitely. I learned so much about myself and how my body worked over the years of reading romance. That's one of the reasons my love scenes are so graphic. Women *need* to know (and after doing so much lay counseling and girl chatting, I know many, many, many of them *don't)and while our culture cheapens sex to the point of selling chewing gum, it sure is prudish about explaining it and how to have great lovemaking.

Besides, I love the way romance blends emotion with sex and shows how it all fits together in a combustible package. My dh and I have very intense intimacy and I'm sure a lot of it is due to the fact that I read romance and am constantly reminded how good it can be, what it feels like to fall in love and it helps that I now know where certain body parts are. LOL

Please don't tell me I'm the only woman who has talked dh into trying something new after reading about it in a romance novel. about TMI. LOL

amy kennedy said...

I tried posting earlier--but it didn't work--I agree with Monica about the whole foreplay thing--and I agree with Lucy about trying something new after reading about it. That's what I had tried to post before...the romances are a reminder that new things are good.

I'm gonna be the odd man out here and give a thumbs up to Craig Ferguson--he makes me laugh, which makes for sexy.

Vivi Anna and Michelle, I too adore Alan R.--I loved him as the
villain in Die Hard too.

Monica Burns said...

Lucy ---So do we need to get you a T-shirt that says

Front - "Erotic Romance Writer - No you can't be my research partner."

Back - "I already have a research partner, and he's GREAT!"

Not TMI - I respect you for your ability to be open and candid about it. Sex isn't something we should hide behind doors IMHO.I don't know that I've actually talked the DH into something after reading, but I know that reading has given me ideas that I've asked him to try out, WITHOUT telling him where I came up with them! I like to keep him thinking how brilliant I am. ROTFL

IMHO, Sex is an expression of intimacy between two people who love each other and it can be beautiful enough to make you weep, laugh, and sigh, all just because you love your partner so much.

You're right though about the way romance books can educate woman, show them that it doesn't have to be all one position or just insert A to slot B. Romance can also show women that they deserve more than just a wham bam thank you ma'am too. Romance empowers women to speak out and say, "HEY! wait a minute, I want you to do this to please me."

Emotions HAVE to be involved in romance IMHO, and for me, romance HAS to have a happily ever after. That's not a necessity for some, and I respect that, but for me personally, I HAVE to have that HEA. I'm just a hopeless romantic about it. Always will be. *smile*

Ok off the soap box. I'm gonna have to stop popping so often. These exchanges are WAY too much fun!!

Anonymous said...

Um, Alan Rickman's kilt looks like my high school uniiform, but I suppose that that's neither here nor there.

But I do agree with all you ladies about how much love scenes in romace novels teach us. I come from a Catholic school eductaion and I learned things in romance books that I never would have learned anywhere else. Not only about the mechanics and positions, but also about the emotions and importance of sex. Oh and also, how fun it can actually be! It is an education that I am very greatful for.

Teresa Bodwell said...

The local newspaper interviewed me recently. The reporter (a male) had read my novella from My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys. He'd never read a romance before and was surprised that it was a good story (why does that surprise people?) About the sex, he said--the sex is pretty "detailed", but it is "tasteful." I guess this level of detail is expected in the genre?
How do you respond to that? I told him about the range of sensuality in the genre, the way the love scenes can tell a lot about the characters and help build the story. Did I think of telling him that might improve reader's sex lives? Nope. Maybe I should have mentioned it so that he would take my books home to his wife.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

OK, Teresa. We can't fault the poor guy cause he's a guy. We can only fault him cause he's a journalist. Just kidding. But not so much, cause his field is just as misunderstood romance, right?

Since I know folks, especially guys, get that glassy-eyed look when romance comes up, I go straight for the libidinal jugular and speak first about the "benefits" of reading romance, and the healthy sexual relationships depicted in erotic romance and romance in general.

That said, I'm with you, Jessica, Catholic girl that I am. I said yesterday, I think (I tend to repeat myself) that if someone gave me a romance at 15 my life would be different, and I'd have had such a healthier sense of the importance of sexuality to women and in relationships.

Which leaves me in my early 40s, like a convert, preaching to everyone who'll listen about the value of romance to women. And celebrating the effect romance has had on my enjoyment of being a woman.

Aside. The other day Jaid Black did a little rant on her blog about why women get bitchy. Right up there with PMS, birthing children, and night sweats was the fact that we experience a dramatic and exquisite hormonal explosion in our 40s -- are really at our sexual peaks -- while the men we know all hit theirs around 18. For about a minute.

Ah, which is why the healing and stimulating nature of romance is so important to our lives.

With ya on the emotion/sex/HEA equation Monica. But I want a Tshirt, too. What can mine say?

My fascination with the whole mediaeval warlord/blushing virgin thing aside, nothing has been more empowering in my life than reading romance.

Monica Burns said...

Well I've always been fond of my own saying

Sex without romance is like a cookie without milk.

That Ahh! Sensation is Missing.

I was gonna use Oreo, but someone stopped me pointing out that they might not be happy with me using a "family values" trademark in the same line with the word sex! LOL

T-shirt for Michelle. Hmmm, let's see. It has to have empowerment on it. HEA, Sex,I'm thinking here, I'm thinking here! YIKES

Front - Empowerment? Sex Education? Read a Romance Book!

Back - When I read romance, I get better and better.

Ok that's pretty poor, but let's play with it. Although I do sort of like the front saying.

Stacy~ said...

Wow the pictures were great. Hugh looks good in anything, and I like Hal Sparks and Craig Ferguson - they both make me laugh. One night I was watching CF and he had such an entertaining way of telling a boring story, and all I could think was "wow, he is so hot" in that kind of embarrassed "what am I thinking?!" way because at the same time he just seemed so raunchy and wicked (the raked/blushing innocent thing, I guess LOL)

And Adrian Paul - now he shows us how it's done ;)

All joking and drooling aside and without giving TMI, I am going to give a shout out to our girl Monica here and say that I agree 100% about women being cerebral, and that reading those sexy stories takes care of the foreplay issue - it makes sense to me that they enhance the "relations" in relationships.

Lucy, I loved your post here. We need more people who think like you do. I just thank God that I discovered romances at an early age, right around the time those pesky hormones kicked in. The thing is, in junior high during those sex ed. classes, there is a lot that is not covered outside of the basics, and it's a shame that young women are left clueless about what's going on. I remember being in the 5th grade (1983) and how the boys were asking the girls to perform a certain act on them - yes, even at 11 years of age. We've been exposed (no pun intended) to the male side of things from a young age, but not one inkling of what females are dealing with. I think romances celebrate these changes in women, help teach them about their own bodies and physical feelings, and I say "amen". Put that together with the emotions, and it's powerful stuff. God bless romance.