Thursday, March 09, 2006

Crush into Me

There are two Dave Matthews songs that have blown me away since the first times I heard them. "Crash Into Me," and "Crush" aren't much alike in imagery or intensity, but each speaks to the strong emotions of infatuation.

Yesterday, some very smart chicks on this very blog suggested that we read romance cause we want to experience that heady early-stage infatuation/first-time rush. (We also figured out why people cheat and whether porn's OK, but that's not important now).
Do you read Romance to get that early-stage infatuation Crush Rush?
Encore! "The Taming of the Duke," by Eloisa James is out March 28th and to celebrate Eloisa will guestblog March 28th! Read this and whimper, Bellas: I've already read TTofTD and it's marvelous!
Encore due! Doesn't that wedding ring make D.M. even cuter?


Rach said...

First, just let me say that I'm so JEALOUS that you've read TTofTD I could just weep! I'm DYING here, just DYING!! I swear, March has never seemed so long before!! =)

Next, how much do I adore DMB?? Not to mention DM is such a cutie ;-). "Crash into Me" is one of my all time favorites. I had never really stopped to consider why, but after reading what you wrote, it really is because of that heady first-love rush. Gee, how come you get to be the smart one?? Because it's your blog? ;-) *grin*

As I posted earlier, I most definitely read romances for that exact purpose. They're almost escapist reading for me. What better way to relax after a tough day teaching, and then dealing with my own sweet kiddos (hubby included) than to read a book that has *ABSOLUTELY NOTHING* to do with any of that. I can be back in a more "innocent" time if you will, before kids, before marriage, when love was still young and fresh (not that I would ever *want* to be there *ever* again).

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Isn't DM a cutie? I remember a few years back the Boston Globe did a story on the rise of the "Nice Guy," and DM was there, as well as Will Smith and I can't remember who else. It's so awesome that you like them, too. I subjected my kids to literally 3 straight months of CD one of DMB live when we first moved two years ago. I'm so O/C. So . I think Crash into Me is such an erotic song, especially because of the creepy voyeuristic element.

Can I take the Crash feeling a little further and say it's kinda how I feel when I sink into a really, I mean really good, sensual romance novel? Those edgy emotions, especially the heart-rending parts.

I call the days before kids my "single" days. I can't seem to remember the time before Dave, but I do fantasize about the freedom we had when it was just the two of us. I romanticize, of course. He'd drive me nuts if I had to hang with him all the time.

Sorry about the Eloisa James. Not. Just kidding. I so wish I could do a feature, but I just did KMA. I might to a little mini BlogView. Whaddya think?

Will you come by for Eloisa's BlogChat?

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Bloggers!? Can someone help me, please? I can't figure out why my profile info and links, which used to be at the top right of the blog, are now at the bottom right. Color me ignorant...

Any help would be appreciated greatly!

Lori Foster said...

I read (and write) romances for the positive message. Seriously. The first crush/falling in love stuff is so fun, but it's the idea that someone imperfect - either the hero or the heroine - and someone who's maybe made mistakes, or has a lot of adversity in his/her life, can find the elusive HEA. Strong characters face tough challenges, and they overcome them. They get past the old history, the baggage, the hurts and the misjustice dealt them, and they find what we all need - love.
::::Sigh:::: It's so grand!


Stacy~ said...

Hey these are two of my favorite DMB songs! I think they work great together, and I could listen to them over and over while watching DM sing them.

As for the crush thing, yeah, that's a part of it, but it's not all of it. One thing that's great is that you can find romance in any genre, or any world, or any occupation, whether it's in the future, in the past, on another planet, or right here in the now.

I love the idea of forever with someone, and that it's not gonna be easy, but when you're in it with someone who loves you, you CAN make it work. I love how it tells women "don't settle for this guy who treats you like a doormat because you think there is no one else who will love you" - you have to respect yourself, and that's important, whether you're a SAHM or a corporate warrior. It's also about exploring your sexuality and knowing it's normal to be a bit adventurous. It is a form of escapism and sometimes fantasy and all that other good stuff that helps you get away from the seriousness and stress of day-to-day life.

So there are lots of reasons I love to read romance. Heck, I just love 'em.

Since I have the same problem w/ my own dratted blog, I can't help you. If you find the answer, let ME know! :)

amy kennedy said...

I love Dave Matthews. And the song Crash Into Me. Well you all have said it all.
There is nothing like that first fall into love--sometimes I get it back in a way--when my husband

(wait, does DH stand for dear husband, 'cause it just reminds me of designated hitter and then I make the leap to desiganted husband?)

okay, when my husband and I are invited to a party or a wedding it reminds both of us how much we like each other. At the party I can see how other people think he's funny, sweet, helpful...and weddings are always such a lovely reminder of what's been promised. Plus at the reception we always dance and dance and dance and laugh because we don't take the dancing too seriously. It brings me back to those first months but with the added strength of years behind us.

Oh, but this was supposed to be why I read (and attempt to write) romance. It brings me joy.

Rach said...

Michelle, I would love to be around for Eloisa's live blog, but unfortunately, I'm off maternity leave starting Monday. It's back to the grind of the real world of teaching. Ugh!

BTW, I think the mini Blogview of TTofTD would be a most EXCELLENT idea =)!

Amy, I know what you mean about weddings, my hubby and I are the same way there. We sit there, hold hands and reconnect on some indefinable level. It's fabulous! =)

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Rach! You have a new baby?

Ames: How exactly do you get your husband to dance?

Stacy: Help me. SAHM? I so don't know many of these acronyms. Can they be called that? Blogronyms?

amy kennedy said...

Rachd! New Baby! how wonderful.
Michelle, my husband is such a good dancer it's ridiculous--he used to be in a band (local clubs and weddings) many years ago and he has this innate sense of music and rythm--I'm a lunatic on the dance floor--he's the good one, but I tend to get better when I'm dancing with him.

Rach said...

Yup, new baby, but not so new any mo'. =) She'll be 3 months old the 19th. Time has flown away from me...

Teresa Bodwell said...

Great question, Michelle. I hadn't thought about this aspect of romance--experience the first rush of knowing you found someone special. The nausea, the anxiety, the . . . Wait. I still think I like the HEA better.

Seriously--as Lori said. Romances are redemption stories. That't the aspect I most enjoy. But the falling in love part is fun too.

ga_gal said...

I do read romance for the crush rush for sure, but also to escape and have that happy ending. Its a good release from everyday stress. I used to read everything on the Oprah's book club, but some of those books were so depressing I nearly signed up for counseling!

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Poor Oprah, Ga_gal! I feel the same...I was ready to slit my wrists. Who in the 20th century decided that novels had to explore the arc from pain through pain in order to be literate?

I SO love the moment the stress starts to fade and the romance starts to invade. It reminds me of the awesome pain-killers I took after my c-section. (no earth mother, I).

You will find me to be nothing ever, if not forthcoming. :)

Monica Burns said...

Michelle, try reducing the size of DM's pic. The content column looks like it's encroaching on the profile/linnks column.

If you can't go smaller, put him in between the two paragraphs. I think that will solve your problems.

I'm with Teresa on HEAs. Of course that's because I've sweated blood and tears onto the keyboard and I can heave a sigh of relief that I've got one more story out of my head. *grin*

Enjoy RT, Michelle. It's DEFINITELY a conference for readers. Tons of things to do. I had a blast year. Alas, my tax refund wasn't big enough for me to do RT and RWA National. So I had to choose.


Lucy Monroe said...

Monica...I think you're right. The pic needs its own paragraph, Michelle...

As for why I read and write romance? I read because I love the victorious storylines. I write because I've got this message that burns inside me and characters who want to show don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love. :) Not perfectly gorgeous, not perfectly behaved, not perfectly healthy...not perfect period. Real people find real love every day and I want everyone to believe they are worthy of finding and living that same thing. But also to see that it isn't easy, just really, very worth it.

Michelle, if shrinking or moving the pic doesn't work...delete it. Sorry...but it usually is some nasty jpeg doing the trick when the post takes over the sidebar. :)


Amanda said...

Thanks for rubbing it in, Michelle! Oh well, I suppose I can wait nineteen more days to read TOD...Sigh. That seems so far away. The chat sounds fun though! Eloisa J. is such a darling and it'll be fun to see what she has to say about TOD and the follow up Pleasure for Pleasure...

I adore Crash Into Me. It's so visual and evocative and sexy. Just one of those songs that makes me stop what I'm doing and *feel*.

As for the first love crush thing--that is definitely part of why I read romance, but another part is the journey from that moment to HEA. I like to see how the h/h harness the energy of that first crush feeling and channel it into something workable and real enough to build a marriage on...

Congrats on the baby, Rachd! I'm on leave from work too from foot surgery. I was supposed to get my cast off Wednesday but unfortunately only two of the three places where they fused my bones together has healed...sigh. So it's three more weeks of cast and wheelchair for me. Of course that means I can keep reading voraciously and blogging to my heart's content so it's not all bad;)

Rach said...

manda, gotta love those lucky/not-so-lucky situations! ;-)

I don't know how I'm going to go a whole day w/o that a sign of addiction??

--rach who is afraid it might be.

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Does this mean only injured and/or women-on-the-mend are blogging with me? What will I do when everyone heals?

Yes, Rach...recognizing one's addiction is the first step to overcoming it.

This is an intervention. The only way to cure your blogging jones is more blogging. That's my co-dependent opinion anyway. I could be wrong.

Rach said...

Hmmm, maybe I can sneak you guys in while the kids are busy. I'll just make it look like I'm busy working on my computer. Those second graders will never know...

I'll definitely be checking every evening for sure, so keep the fabu topics coming (oh, yeah, and the pix of the cuties and snaxy men =) ).

Lori Foster said...

Morning all. I don't do much blogging. Seriously. I don't. LOL.
Actually, this is my first I think, but y'all are fun!

I do this stuff (checking emails, websites, bbs, this blog) first thing in the morning, while drinking my coffee. I get so much email that I have to check it again off and on during the day, but mostly the rest of my day is writing and other parts of life.

RT is soooo expensive! Dianne and I (my bestest bud and a brilliant author) are vowing to skip everything next year! We're going to stay home and eat bon bons and feel sorry for everyone who is so busy scrambling to make flights and deadlines simultaneously. LOL.

Well, I'm heading to Indiana today to talk, so I gotta run.

Happy blogging all!


Stacy~ said...

Congrats RachD on the baby. I bet you are having a ball with your new little one :) Btw, not all addictions are bad things. I'd follow Michelle's advice ;)

Michelle, SAHM is stay-at-home-mom. It took me awhile to figure these all out, too.

Ga_gal, glad it's not just me! I thought maybe I wasn't intellectual enough because I couldn't enjoy Oprah's recommendations, now I know it's cuz they really are that depressing. LOL.

I'm missing RT and I really wanna go cuz it's more for the readers, but I'll be hitting RWA, I think.

Have fun Lori!

Amanda said...

Haha, Michelle! Don't worry. I'm so addicted I'll keep blogging when I go back to work--in between taking orders from the bosses, that is...

This is the stuff that keeps me sane when I'm knee deep in researching esoteric aspects of beyondo boring civil litigation (am a law librarian/paralegal)...

As for the Oprah books, I've done my time with "literature" and have the degrees to prove it. While not all literature is devoid of hope and happiness, much of it is and I just don't get why we are supposed to feel guilty for not reveling in that unhappiness. Real life is hard enough--why spend your leisure time in imaginary worlds where life is even harder and there is no hope for it to get better.

I'll take a HEA over a dark night of the soul any day, thank you;)

Deb's Book Nook said...

I was lucky enough to get an ARC of The Taming of the Duke and all I can say is, you are in for a treat! It is well worth the wait! Another keeper Eloisa! Thanks!

Michelle Buonfiglio said...

Yeah, Amanda. Do not go gently into that dark night, rage, rage against the damn Oprah books!

So, this year at Romantic Times' big reader convention (yay readers!), Dorchester Publishing is sponsoring a Sat night "Racy Rock n Roll Party" or "Bikers Race into the 60's." We're supposed to think Shangri La's meets NASCAR, I think.
Question: how much black leather is too much black leather in Daytona in the spring?

The real inside scoop, is that Emmah Holly, Betina Krahn, Lois Greiman, Michele Hauf, Cynthia Williams, and moi have joined forces to become "CosmoChix." We'll be entertaining readers at our very own Cosmopolitan (the drinks, not the mag) party Sat nite at RT. I'll keep you UTD on developments, including when you can register for a chance to win some Blog Bling.

Lori, our party's 7.30 - 9.00. I'm not even sure I can make it that late.

I am gonna be at RWA, too.

Hi, Deb! Did I thank you for stoppin by for JR Ward? Did you write Eloisa James to tell her how much you liked Duke? Give us your bookstore web address so we can read your interviews, OK?

Lucy Monroe said...

Okay...I give up...or gave up...or whatever, but I've got J.R. Ward's books on my list at B& My groaning TBR bookcase does not need the extra weight, but Squawk Radio just gave a totally fab review and added to yours, was too much. I caved. If I get *any* writing done this year it will be a miracle. LOL

Hugs to all,

Amanda said...

Deb, you're killin' me! Feels like I've been waiting for TOD forever! But the wait isn't too long now. Am glad it's getting good reviews from the people who've read it. (Not that I didn't expect it to, but you know what I mean:)

I too have caved to pressure and added J.R. Ward's Lover Eternal to my TBR pile. As soon as I finish Rachel Caine's Weather Warden series (which Eloisa James recommended for her book club on her website and got me hooked on YET ANOTHER series)I'll be all about the Brotherhood ...

CosmoChix, huh? Sounds like I'm gonna get hooked on another blog.

My name is Amanda, and I'm a blogoholic.

amy kennedy said...

CosmoChix--next thing you know, you'll be fighting off the denizens of evil and making the world a safer place for romance readers. I. Love. It. CosmoChix.

Lori Foster said...

Michelle, what a cool party! Sounds awesome. As a tee-totaler and early bird, I have my doubts about getting there, but man, if I could change my stripes at this late stage of the game... :-D
Take pictures for us. LOL.
And I really, really want a photo of you in all that leather! ;-)

Lucy, I miss ya. It feels like forever since I've seen you! I hope we can find some quiet time to sit down and chat at either RT or RWA. I need to find out what's going on in your world these days.

That's my favorite reason for going to these conventions - just catching up with friends who I don't get to see in person otherwise.
I'm hitting up RT this year because RT is SO good to me. Not review wise - they usually hate my books. LOL. But in so many other ways. The staff is so helpful and fun and easy to talk to.

I'm doing RWA because I switched publishers and I want to hook up with the new editor and publisher for a face to face.
Otherwise, I'm such a boring homebody, I wouldn't leave my little one-cow town without towing the whole family along. ;-)

I hope everyone is having a good weekend. We're getting soggy from all the rain.


Michelle Buonfiglio said...

LOL Amanda.

I am so happy, Lucy, to be such a good influence on readers and writers.

Now, I didn't say I'd actually be wearing the leather, but I'm assuming those showing up in stretch-rubber bustiers won't be turned away from the Saturday nite RT event. But I must say, I really like Brianna Yamashita, pr manager at Dorchester, the sponsors of the party. She's the woman who's looking into hooking us up with snaxy Nathan Kamp for an in-depth.

I'm looking forward to meeting lots of readers at RT, learning more about what they like and want to see featured on RBtheB. Just as much, I'm looking forward to spending time with friends and meeting new friends I've only met through email.

Now, I'm not an imbiber, as it were, actually I'm a Coca-Cola addict (the elixir of life). But I'm more than happy to serve a cocktail and a nosh to friends at any time. And I've never forgotten the pr/marketing chick's motto: If you feed them, they will come.

Yes Amy. Our CosmoChix motto? We give good romance.

Lucy Monroe said...

Lori...ditto. :) I won't be at RT or RWA this year, though. I'm focusing in on the teens this year as much as I can and taking a break from the hype. I love being around other readers and writers, but the conferences can really drain me. And you know? The teens want a hot tub...that cuts into the travel budget. LOL


Lori Foster said...

That'll be next year, Lucy. Well, not the hot tub, although I really want one! LOL. But staying home and just concentrating on family. The conventions drain me too. Travel away from home drains me. I'm too easily drained. LOL.
We'll miss you, but I totally understand!