My mom’s best friend died almost 12 years ago. She was a woman who had her own kids, but always had time for me when I needed to talk about stuff I just couldn’t share with my mom. I still miss her and hope my daughter finds the same with a woman I trust, perhaps a Chinese woman who can give her the insight into her culture her birth mother would have.
I think about our daughter’s birth mother often; I ‘met’ our daughter Mother’s Day weekend in China, nine years ago, a laughing, smiling yet serious little girl who was ‘abandoned’ where she would be found as her mother most likely hid and looked on as usually is the case.
A ‘finding notice’ was placed later in a local tabloid paper in the remote farming area where my daughter was found by a man arriving for his job at a construction company. The tabloid is one filled with “true romance” stories, some tragic, some happy, sold to excruciatingly poor, young Chinese girls and women with little to hope for in life. The finding notices are a last shot at determining whether a child may legally be taken into the care of the municipality and put up for adoption.
The finding notice read something like, “Baby girl found wrapped in a man’s suit with a red paper pinned to lapel indicating birth date of one month.” Remember, in China, red is the color of good luck, happiness, prosperity.
A desperate mother and father willing to give up a child after caring for her for one month because of government restrictions and thousands-of-years-old-cultural issues ridiculously complex and difficult to understand and far too easy to judge. And parents do this for a chance that their child’s life will be healthier and happier with the possibility of adoption, yet without their love and care.
I see my daughter’s birth parents in her smile and eyes. I wonder if they struggled with the same tasks as she when they were young. But I don’t wonder whether they think of her often; they loved her so much that they sacrificed their happiness for hers – not something a parent forgets.
This morning, our daughter gave me a poem she wrote as a Mother’s Day gift, and I want to share it with you as a gift and in honor of her birth parents. And just so’s you can share the love this morning, too.
I love you the reddest!
I love you the color of your bright heart shaped necklace.
I love you the color of a strong rose standing tall.
The color of your sweet heart.
The color of red steaming sweet peppers.
The color of love and sweetness that spreads around the universe.
The color of a shiny and glossy ruby.
Love you more.
Lord Ian winners: heatherb; ashley ladd; Please write me @ email@example.com w/your snail mail by noon 5.11.
***Encore! "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes," written by Rose Lewis and illustrated by Jane Dyer is a lovely and moving book that tells the story of a little girl's journey from orphanage to single mom's new home and life in America. Respectful and full of love and light, the book is a beautiful tribute to the making/blending of a family and international adoption. It's the perfect addition to any family's or classroom's library.
Tails of Love Pet Photo Mascot Extravaganza begins Tuesday with "Tails of Love" benefit anthology authors GuestBlog including Lori Foster, Stella Cameron & Pals. Have fun 'n help pets in need!